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Identity
There was this empty shell,
and I called it my life.
Sometimes it felt like hell,
but it was easy to survive.

Time was like a drain,
that didn’t flush me down.
There was no room for pain,
and not one chance to drown.

I want to cut off all my ties,
I need to break through all the ice.
I want it to evaporate,
and cease to be a surrogate.

I want to raise a thunderstorm.
I want to bring down all the rain.
I want to be the flood that cleans.
I want to know what my life means.

I want to find the strength I need,
to truly follow my own lead.
I want to find my destiny,
and know my own identity.

I got up every day,
to do as I was told.
I felt like a piece of clay,
for someone else to mold.

My suit fit me just fine,
and my shirt was always clean.
My thoughts they were never mine,
but there was no need to scream.

I looked left and right,
and they were all the same.
I lay awake at night,
and tried to recall my name.

I got up the next day,
and took a long last look.
There was no time to stay,
on the first page of this book.

mind.in.a.box – Crossroads (2007)S

An excerpt from dive into mark:

Let’s all talk about HTTP error code 410.

As far as I can tell, it’s the forgotten stepchild of error 404 (Resource not found). Error 410 means Resource gone, as in, a resource used to exist at this location, but now it’s gone. Not only is it gone, but I don’t know (or I don’t want to tell you) where it went. If I knew where it went, and I wanted to tell you, I would use error 301 (Permanent redirect) and any smart client would simply redirect to the new address. But 410 means Resource gone, no forwarding address. Train gone sorry.

Somewhere in my audience is an HTTP guru who can tell me if I’m getting this right.

Now, there is not a lot of information about error 410. Oh sure, you can search for http error 410 on Google and come up with lots of hits, but they’re all just pages that list all the error codes and give a brief description of each. No docs, no further explanation. I suppose because it addresses a condition that doesn’t come up very often. Also, we’ve all been brainwashed into believing that all resources should be permanent, which simply isn’t true.

Embracing HTTP error code 410 means embracing the impermanence of all things.

NASA Says:

ERROR 410: DISCONTINUED

The requested site is no longer available at www.grc.nasa.gov. This change is permanent. Please remove any links or bookmarks to this Web address.

No wind can blow my faith away
No fear to drown
I’m merging oceans

At mercy of the raging storm
I’m holding on to merging oceans

Horizon lost to creeping dark
No turning back
I’m merging oceans

I reach my goal where I began
Within the flow of merging oceans

Merging oceans
No turning back
No fear to drown
Merging oceans

~ Rotersand – Truth is Fanatic

My head got detached. Some good friends kept it submerged under water in a bucket for me. Oxygen from an aquarium pump was pushed in through clear plastic tubing and in through my nose in order to keep my brain alive. A new body was needed.

1. Intro (Konzertintro 2003) – Blutengel
2. March of the Dead – Gothminister
3. Feel the Bite – My Life With the Thrill Kill Kult
4. Sun Mistress – The Fair Sex
5. When You’re Evil – Voltaire
6. Kiss Eternal – Lords of Acid
7. The Vampire Club – Voltaire
8. Vampires – Adam Ant
9. Heart of Lilith – Inkubus Sukkubus
10. Transylvanian Concubine [The Manson Mix - Radio Edit] – Rasputina
11. Children of the Night – Blutengel
12. Possum Kingdom – Toadies
13. Zombie Prostitutue – Voltaire